HumorDome
A place to losen up, relax and enjoy some laughter. The HumorDome is a public site group and all members are welcome to join. Seen or heard a joke lately and want to share it with others? Go ahead, post it in the Humordome, put a smile on someone's face and and make their day that much brighter and funnier.
Note: May be good therapy for stress releif or bad days.
Johnny Learns Politics
Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."
Riddle of the day - Even Ms. blondie should be able to get this one….
Can you guess the correct answer without cheating?
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Bush is one.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it? (Pause for a second and guess the answer - Answer below)
When a child says it you just have to believe it
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
Only in America...
Someone sent this to me. I thought it was funny and wanted to share. Hope you all like it. It makes you laught when you wonder why we do what we do and why things are sometimes the way they are... oh well...
(1) Only in America .....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
(2) Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
(3) Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
(4) Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
(5) Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Why I Love or Hate My Job
Whenever you are having an "I Hate My Job" day, try this:
On your way home from work, yeah - the same job you hate, stop at your pharmacy, go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.
Be very sure you get this brand, not for promotional reasons - but read on. When you get home, you may want to lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Little Johnny Becomming a Man
For his birthday Little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, "Son, we'd love to give you one but the mortgage
on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job.There's no
way we can afford it. "The next day the father saw Little
Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked,
"Son, where are you going?" Little Johnny told him, "I was walking past your bedroom last
Some things to Remember in Life
1.A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
2.If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
3. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
4.Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
5. Ninety nine percent (99%) of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Things to Never Say to a Cop
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Have you ever wondered why...
(1) Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
(2) Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
(3) Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
(4) Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
(5) Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
(6) Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
(7) Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...
SHOW - OFF
Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to Jamaica because he felt he could be a Big Shot at home. He really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law office in New Kingston. The first day, he saw a man coming up the passageway. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking. "No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million.
